The recent trial of a Saint John man convicted of stabbing his two sons to death last year has left many people reeling, searching for answers about how such a tragedy could happen and how to prevent anything similar.
Roman Kamyshnyy, 46, was sentenced last week to two life prison terms, to be served concurrently with no chance of parole for 25 years, after a jury found him guilty in June of two counts of first-degree murder in the deaths of the boys, aged 10 and 17.
Most people “can’t even fathom” a parent killing his or her own child, said domestic violence expert Peter Jaffe, a psychologist and researcher based in London, Ont.
But as many as 30 children across Canada are killed by a parent every year, he said, citing a study of more than 1,600 cases over 50 years.
About half of these child homicides, known as filicides, occur in situations of intimate partner violence, said Jaffe, professor emeritus at Western University and director emeritus of the Centre for Research & Education on Violence Against Women & Children.
This is “often when a woman leaves an abusive relationship, and her ex-partner kills the children as an act of revenge,” he said.
“The male is angry at his partner for leaving the relationship, and the one way he can hurt her most is to harm the children.”
A study released earlier this year found New Brunswick had the highest number of domestic violence-related homicides in Atlantic Canada between 2012 and 2022, at 33 of 75 known victims.
New Brunswick also had the highest annual death rate of the four provinces when the numbers were adjusted for population size, at 0.35 per 100,000, compared with the average of 0.26.
While the majority of the New Brunswick victims were intimate partners of the accused, six per cent were children.
“The cases that we’re seeing where children are killed, they haven’t been that primary target,” said Mary Aspinall, an assistant professor in the department of criminology and criminal justice at St. Thomas University in Fredericton and a member of the New Brunswick Domestic Violence Death Review Committee.
Instead, the children are used as a “tool” to inflict further harm against the other parent, often the mother, said Aspinall, who has been part of provincial and national research teams, including the Canadian Domestic Homicide Prevention Initiative.
The risk to children when their parents break up, however, is often missed by mothers, family and friends, as well as any frontline professionals involved, according to both experts.
They contend society as a whole needs to be educated about this risk and how to identify warning signs early on.
In Kamyshnyy’s case, the Crown argued the murders were “driven by vengeance;” that he used his sons’ lives as a retaliatory weapon to punish his ex-wife, the boys’ mother, for her alleged infidelity.
The woman, identified only as Witness A because of a publication ban on her name and the names of the victims, had divorced him two months prior and was on a holiday in Europe with another man the week before the killings, the Court of King’s Bench heard.
On Jan. 29, 2025, Saint John police found the boys’ bodies inside the family’s north end apartment, where Kamyshnyy continued to live until he could afford his own place. Both victims had been stabbed multiple times.
Officers also found Kamyshnyy, who had shot himself in the head twice with a nail gun in an attempted suicide, and a handwritten note addressed to Canadian officials in which he accepted full responsibility for the “situation,” the court heard.
Witness A told CBC News in an emailed statement issued through her lawyer, Mel Norton, that she “never thought [Kamyshnyy] would hurt the children.
“She would have never left them alone with [him] if that were the case,” it said.
It’s unclear from the evidence presented at the trial whether Kamyshnyy’s ex-wife had previously reported him to any officials in Canada or in their homeland of Ukraine. She testified they never had conflicts in public or in front of the children and that the boys loved their father.
Witness A declined further comment through Norton, who previously noted the possibility of a defence appeal.
During a pre-trial hearing in May, when discussing the judge’s pending instructions to the jury on motive and whether any limiting instructions would be required to keep jurors focused on the murder charges rather than any prior discreditable conduct, Crown prosecutor Elaina Campbell alleged there was a history of physical intimate partner violence.
“We will not be talking about any physical assaultive behaviour — any, what I would refer to as ‘uncharged conduct,’” she told Justice Darrell Stephenson. “The evidence that the Crown will be presenting is strictly marital breakdown.”
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“OK, so that doesn’t bring into play domestic abuse?” the judge asked.
“Right. So that’s why we’re asking for no cautionary instruction,” Campbell replied.
Jaffe has not conducted a detailed analysis of the Kamyshnyy case but based on media reports said it appears to fit the profile of many other child homicides he has studied, “dealing with separation and jealousy and retaliation.”
It’s also consistent with a concerning trend he has observed in domestic homicides, where separated couples continued to live together for financial reasons.
It’s becoming “more and more common,” said Jaffe, pointing to the economy and a lack of housing.
Although some women fear for the safety of their children following separation, others don’t worry because “they don’t picture this kind of ending,” he said.
“They identify their partners [as] no longer being a good intimate partner, but [still] caring about the children.”
Aspinall said there is a misconception, even among some professionals, that conflict between partners is separate from their children.
In many cases, no harm has been done to the children, but “once that relationship has ended and the perpetrator is trying to regain some of that control against the other parent … the children are a means of doing that,” she said.
The recent end of a relationship is “a strong risk factor that we see come up time and time again,” Aspinall said.
Actual or pending separation is often “the most dangerous period” for women and children, according to Jaffe.
In many cases, one partner has been unhappy for a long time and is ready to move on, while the other person doesn’t accept the separation and still hopes their partner will change their mind, he said.
“They just stay home and get depressed and ruminate about how to get even,” said Jaffe, acknowledging many couples, when they separate, can’t afford to set up two households.
“It’s a real dilemma.”
Still, if the breakup isn’t mutual, he advises against continuing to live under the same roof but to consider staying with family or friends or in a shelter.
Domestic homicides rarely happen “out of the blue,” said Jaffe, a founding member of Ontario’s Domestic Violence Death Review Committee. The committee, which has reviewed 606 deaths since 2003, has created a list of 41 risk factors related to victims as well as perpetrators.
Of the 463 homicides, which included 49 children and youth aged 18 or under, most were preceded by at least seven known risk factors, he said.
The most common is a history of domestic violence, Jaffe said. That’s not just physical violence, but also emotional, psychological and financial abuse, threats and controlling behaviour, he noted.
Other warning signs include a new intimate partner in the victim’s life, excessive drug or alcohol use, depression, sexual jealousy, misogynistic attitudes, obsessive behaviour, such as stalking, and an escalation in violence or threats, “when they’re not afraid to say things that may be alarming in front of friends or family,” Jaffe said.
Kamyshnyy testified he started drinking wine and beer in the months leading up to the killings to deal with the stress of the marital breakdown. He also admitted he hacked into his ex-wife’s social media account to read her private messages and put a GPS tracker on the family vehicle so he could always see where she was.
He believed she should stick to her work and family, he told police in a videotaped statement. “It would be much better.”
He didn’t like her going out with friends, and was upset that when he would return from days away as a truck driver she didn’t cook for him and say, “You were at work, here’s some food. Relax.” Instead it was, “Do it yourself,” he said.
Part of the key to preventing filicides is to ensure family members, friends, neighbours and co-workers are all aware of the red flags, Jaffe said.
That should happen, he said, through public case reviews, media reports and public education, including mandatory school curriculum about healthy relationships.
“A well-informed community is the first line of defence.”
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Aspinall contends we need a “paradigm shift” in how we look at and understand relationship abuse.
She pointed to “entrenched myths and stereotypes” about intimate partner violence, such as physical abuse being the only “real” abuse and abuse against a partner being unrelated to the ability to be a healthy parent.
Traditionally, the general public and criminal justice system have viewed intimate partner violence as “incident-specific, injury-inducing events, but these only demonstrate a snapshot of time,” Aspinall said.
“We have to start looking at the relationship — whether it’s those who are living in these situations who may have concerns and/or professionals responding to such — and the behaviours of the abuser from a broader perspective.”
If people do recognize warning signs, Jaffe recommends they let the victim know they’re concerned about them and are there for them.
They can support the victim by making sure they have access to services, such as help lines and shelters, and should not judge them for staying in a situation while they come up with a safety plan, he said.
If there is an imminent risk of harm, they should call the police.
Frontline professionals, such as police, family doctors, counsellors and family lawyers, also need to be better trained to identify risks early, Jaffe said.
Aspinall believes the risk-assessment tools commonly used by service providers in Canada, such as an Ontario assessment that measures the risk of reoffending, and a danger assessment, which measures the risk of lethality, should be updated to evaluate the risk of harm toward children.
That should include evaluating coercive control, she said.
Aspinall, who said she was involved in some of the parliamentary discussions regarding the criminalization of coercive control in intimate relationships, described it as a pattern of abusive behaviour used to isolate, control and dominate another person over time, often to the point where it removes their autonomy and identity and leaves them reliant.
Examples can include humiliation and controlling finances, who the other person speaks to, what they do, and their access to certain items, such as a vehicle.
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It’s an insidious form of harm and a prevalent precursor in domestic homicides, Aspinall said.
She is encouraged by the recent Criminal Code reforms, which are expected to come into force no later than June 2028 to allow time to train police, prosecutors and judges.
Jaffe believes domestic homicides can be reduced in the next generation, but it will take “real” commitment.
“We know the answers,” he said, pointing to numerous provincial and national reports and recommendations following inquests and inquiries over the years.
“We’ve lacked the political will to put a plan into action and to fund it properly.
“It’s deeds, not words.”
If you’re in immediate danger or fear for your safety or that of others around you, please call 911. If you’re affected by family or intimate partner violence, you can look for help through crisis lines and local support services.
