WARNING: This story details allegations of child abuse and references thoughts of suicide.
The second of two Ontario women accused in the death of a boy in their care testified for the first time, saying Monday that she and her wife struggled to get him the help they felt he needed.
In her first day of testimony in Milton Superior Court, Becky Hamber told the first-degree murder trial that she and Brandy Cooney didn’t know the boy had serious behavioural issues before he and his younger brother moved in with them.
Hamber said the older boy would suddenly become violent and that when the couple first started to experience issues, the Children’s Aid Society wasn’t always helpful.
Hamber said that in 2018, the boy, known as L.L. for this trial, called her a “stupid b-word” and pushed her down a flight of stairs. She said she landed on her feet, but hurt her leg.
That day, Hamber said, Cooney took the boy — who was also expressing suicidal desires — to a nearby hospital, where he was admitted for several days.
Monte MacGregor, Hamber’s lawyer, asked her if anyone gave the couple “strategies” to deal with the tantrums she described at that time.
“No they did not,” Hamber responded.
In October, Dr. Alan Brown, a child and adolescent psychiatrist with Oakville Trafalgar Memorial Hospital, testified L.L. likely had disruptive mood dysregulation disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), reactive attachment disorder and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). He said that he and his team never observed the sort of explosive outbursts that Hamber and Cooney described, but acknowledged children can present differently at home than in care.
Cooney and Hamber, of Burlington, have both pleaded not guilty in L.L.’s death. They entered the same pleas on charges of confinement, assault with a weapon — zip ties — and failing to provide the necessaries of life related to his brother, J.L. The identities of both Indigenous boys are protected under a publication ban.
The Crown argues that over the five years they lived together, the couple came to hate the boys.
The trial has heard testimony that the women would call the children vulgar and dehumanizing names, restrain them, lock them in their rooms for hours at a time, force them to exercise and puree their meals.
According to the couple and their respective defence lawyers, the women tried their best to care for boys with high needs, with insufficient help from the Children’s Aid Society and health professionals.
In December, Cooney said L.L. wasn’t forced to do exercise and was given adequate food, but didn’t deny using restraints.
L.L. was 12 when he died on Dec. 21, 2022. The trial previously heard paramedics found him unresponsive, soaking wet and lying on the basement floor of his bedroom, which was locked from the outside. Witnesses said he was so severely malnourished and emaciated that he looked as if he could be six years old, even though he was twice that age. He died shortly after in hospital.
J.L., now 13, previously testified at the trial.
On Monday, MacGregor asked Hamber a wide range of questions about her time with the boys, addressing themes that have come up throughout the trial.
For example, he asked her about photos of meals she had posted on Instagram, many with captions about cooking for children with special needs.
J.L. testified that at some point during his time with Hamber and Cooney, they switched to exclusively giving him pureed food.
Hamber described the meals as balanced and typical of what she would cook for L.L. and J.L. throughout their time together. They included quesadillas, pizza and breakfast sandwiches.
MacGregor also asked about the couple’s income.
The Crown has suggested they were reliant on money they received from children’s aid.
Hamber said they received about $2,070 per month to take care of the boys. She stopped working in 2018 and decided to care for the children full time, and Cooney earned around $35,000 annually, Hamber said.
“Was money the reason you did this?” MacGregor asked.
“Not at all,” Hamber said.
MacGregor also asked Hamber questions about her childhood and family life growing up, and her health and work experience.
Hamber, 46, said she was adopted as a youngster and grew up in an abusive household. She said she worried her childhood trauma might impact her ability to “attach to a child,” but realized that after over 15 years of working with children and youth who had special needs, she could do it.
“I did not doubt that I could be a loving, and warm and compassionate parent.”
She said she always enjoyed working with children who had special needs and had told children’s aid that she and Cooney would happily adopt children with high needs, so long as they had the agency’s help.
“I believe that I knew solidly what it was like to be an underdog growing up,” Hamber said. “I really wanted kids to have a voice.”
Hamber said the couple first expressed interest in adopting L.L. and J.L. at a large adoption event featuring representatives from children’s aid societies around the province. After multiple rounds of interviews, she said, Hamber and Cooney were told they were the best fit for the boys and were able to meet them.
Hamber recalled feeling excited and connected to the brothers.
“I was pretty sure I just might have become a mom.”
Hamber is expected back in the witness box when the trial continues Tuesday morning.
If you’re affected by this report, you can look for mental health support through resources in your province or territory.
Here are some other help resources:
This guide from the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health outlines how to talk about suicide with someone you’re worried about.
